It’s Okay not to be Okay


A hard stretch, a terrible day, a major setback. It looks like one thing follows another at times. Then another, and another, and another.Sometimes an unforeseen issue or impediment will present itself, leaving you stressed, worried, and confused of what to do. And there are days when you simply don’t have anything. There is no drive or creativity. You’ve been tormented by self-doubt lately.

You believe you must be strong at all times.

You believe that you are not permitted to cry or admit that you are not okay.

It is acceptable to be unhappy.

This is something I’ve been grappling with for quite some time. I’m not sure whether these unusual and unexpected mood swings are part of the grieving process; I’m not sure if things will ever return to normal. What I do know is that admitting to myself that I’m not doing so well has been difficult.


Why do we feel the need to always be strong? Why do we feel bad about taking a break? Guilt had entirely engulfed me. How can I sit here crying and blaming myself when I have so many things to be grateful for? I don’t see anyone else creating excuses for themselves because they have so much work to accomplish.

Accept that everything is fine. It is acceptable to be unhappy. Avoid feeling “terrible” because you believe you are the only one who feels lonely, lost, or unmotivated—you are not. Don’t worry about what other people are doing, and remember that we all know what it’s like to “not be okay,” even if most of us don’t talk about it. All of those feelings are normal; we all feel them at times. Is it a pleasant area to spend time? No way. It does not, however, last permanently.

But if I’ve learnt anything in the last six months, it’s that the more you reject feeling “terrible,” the worse you’ll feel. Yes, you should keep trying to get better, but don’t push yourself; instead, give yourself time to heal and learn to be patient with yourself. Consider a poor day to be a passing cloud: you can’t see the sun, but you know it’s there. You know it will ultimately come out.’

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