Forgiveness is not one of my strongest suits. I know I shouldn’t carry grudges, but it’s so difficult to let go of my grief at times. I’ve always believed that the only way to fully forgive someone was to forget what they had done to me. But how could I possible forget some of the wrongs done to me? Some pains are simply so difficult to let go of. And some people are simply impossible to trust again.
Forgiveness might be difficult at times.
Yet it is so necessary. “I love you” and “I’m sorry” are the two most significant words somebody can say to their partner. Any connection requires forgiveness.
But it might be difficult to forgive and forget at times. Is this a sign that your relationship is bound to fail?
How do you forgive someone when you’re not in the mood?
How do you forgive your lover while still in pain? Can you forgive your partner while still in pain? Do you want to know what the answer is? Can you figure out the answer? Would you believe me if I told you the answer is yes?
Yes, you can forgive someone even if you don’t want to.
You can forgive someone even if you are still in pain.
You may forgive while also remembering.
You are not required to act as if it never happened. Forgiveness does not imply allowing yourself to be harmed again and over again. Because forgiveness is not a sensation, you can forgive others while their sentiments are still raw and terrible. It’s a decision.
We must make the decision to forgive others.
We must make the conscious decision to forgive someone who has injured us. No matter how we feel, we always have the ability to forgive another person. And if forgiveness is a choice, then all of Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness become a little more feasible (though it’s still difficult, especially when you don’t want to forgive someone).
Jesus would never tell us to do anything we couldn’t do. If He says we shall be forgiven in proportion to how much we forgive others, He means it. When He says we must forgive seventy times seven, He means it. That’s a lot of forgiving, but as He says, with God, anything is possible. This includes forgiving someone while remaining grieving. When I am injured by someone, whether it is my partner, a friend, a child, or even a stranger, I remind myself that forgiveness is a choice.
Even when the hurt is still unbearable, I can choose to forgive.
It’s not always easy, but as Christ Himself tells us, “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
Forgiveness is a choice we must make for ourselves, but God makes that choice possible. Even if we don’t feel like forgiving someone, we can ask God for the grace to do so regardless.
And what if you don’t want to beg God for forgiveness? Ask Him to assist you in wanting to ask Him. All things are possible with God, and He can soften even the hardest heart, including the one that refuses to forgive.